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Name of Image

:icon1st1plz::icon1st2plz::icon1st3plz::icon1st4plz:
Name of Image Re:GenerationWhy do the birds go on singing?
The sweet feminine voice crooned from some broken recording device within the hearts of the desolate city, its only audience that of a slender form draped in a dark cape. As the slightly distorted sound filtered through his ears, the language was parsed instantaneously into his native language. Without so much as a pause, he continued forward, his liquid-like form sliding over the ground smoothly. Turning once to the left and then the right, he took in his surroundings with nary an expression on his silver-colored face. His single grey eye never blinked, roving around as he moved through the empty streets.
He was not a being of this planet and so his stay would be brief. He had only set foot on this foreign territory because of a calling. A calling that had awoken not only him, but others from different sections of the universe. It was a call that needed answering and so, he had left his home planet immediately to travel to this distant land.
Name of Image

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Name of Image [CE] RE:Generation by Frappe7Name of Image


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Name of Image GenesisIt’s so dark, I can’t see.  I’ve tried closing and reopening my eyes but it stays the same; total darkness.  It feels like I’ve been here forever.  I can’t remember where I was before or how I got here.  I’ve been here too long for this to be a dream.  If it were a dream, it’d be a nightmare and I just want to wake up.  My heart is racing.  I have to close my eyes and slow my breathing to get it back under control.
I can’t tell if it’s night or day.  Did I just wake up or do I need to sleep?  The darkness is troubling.  It instills doubt and fear.  It plays with my thoughts like a string being plucked.  My brain is vibrating trying to make sense of it all.  I’m going to be stuck here forever.  There’s a lump in my throat that won’t go away.  It’s a ball of dread and it’s slowly taking over.  
There are times that I can
Name of Image

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Name of Image:thumb666486825:Name of Image


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Name of Image Hope, fullCrescent moons, bloody the palms
Lungs crushing, deflating pain
Shivering, shaking, fearing
Salt water, dripping downward 
No hope
Hopeless
Lesshope
Hope, no
Clenched fists, release
Hyperventilating, slows
Panic, breathe deeply
Salt water, seeps into the soul
Hopefull
Hoping
Hope, full
of Hope
Hands will heal
Lungs inhale
Breathing in
Soul revived
Name of Image

:icon3rd1plz::icon3rd2plz::icon3rd3plz::icon3rd4plz:
Name of Image Hope Full by LualaDyName of Image


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Name of Image Dreams And SilenceSilence
Within the boundaries of my existence there is winter in my life.
I suffer, cry, fail and fall;
I shrink from the immense loneliness that tears at the fiber of my very essence.
With a rendered heart, I dry my tears and grow silent.
Yet I dream.
I dream because dreams are the catalyst of hope;
of new and better things which part the grayness with a newborn ardor,
where light, love, truth and insight allow me to see things as they really are.
To help me realize that beauty lives and breathes, as close as my last footstep and as far as the horizon;
as deep as the valleys of my emotions and the heights of my soul.
Yes,  I dream.
I dream, for what once was an oppressive vastness is now an opportunity for growth;
and those who do not understand my silence,
will never understand my dreams.
Name of Image

:iconh01plz::iconh02plz::iconh03plz::iconh04plz:
Name of Image Dreams And Silence by EyeOfTheKatName of Image

Featured





Name of Image
Logo designed by 007Balel
Up to four works of an artist selected weekly by the admins.

Name of ImageName of ImageName of Image

This week's feature is:
:iconenforcerwolf:EnforcerWolf

The featured works are:
I Am Content by EnforcerWolf Don't Drop Me, Daddy by EnforcerWolf
She Was On Sale by EnforcerWolf I C U 2 by EnforcerWolf

Songs





Name of Image

Volume 2



Inner Demons by Julia Brennan
They say don't let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
When I'm all alone, they show up on their own
Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don't play by the rules
They say "Just push them down, just fight them harder
Why would you give up on it so soon?"

So angels, angels please just keep on fighting
Angels don't give up on me today
The demons they are there; they keep on fighting
Cause inner demons just won't go away
So angels please, hear my prayer
Life is pain, lifes not fair
So angels please; please stay here
Take the pain; take the fear

They say it won't be hard; they can't see the battles in my heart
But when I turn away
The demons seem to stay
Cause inner demons don't play well with angels
They cheat and lie and steal and break and bruise
Angels please protect me from these rebels
This is a battle I don't want to lose

So angels, angels please just keep on fighting
Angels don't give up on me today
Cause the demons they are there; they keep on fighting
Cause inner demons just won't go away

Angels, angels please keep on fighting
Angels don't give up on me today
Cause the demons; they are there
They keep on fighting
Inner demons just won't go away

So angels please, hear my prayer
Life is pain; life's not fair
So angels please; please stay here
Take the pain; take the fear







Fight Song by Rachel Platten
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep
Everybody's worried about me
In too deep
Say I'm in too deep (in too deep)
And it's been two years
I miss my home
But there's a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe

And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

A lot of fight left in me

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

This is my fight song (Hey!)
Take back my life song (Hey!)
Prove I'm alright song (Hey!)
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong (I'll be strong)
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

No I've still got a lot of fight left in me







If Nobody Believed in You by Joe Nichols
Small religious part
I watched him take the two strike call"
He hadn't tried to swing at all.
I guess he'd had all that he could take,
He walked away, for goodness sake.
His father's voice was loud an' mean:
"You won't amount to anything."

That little boy quit tryin',
He just walked away.
There were teardrops on his face.
Tell me, how would you feel?
You'd probably give up too,
If nobody believed in you.

That old man said: "One more try,
I know i'm not too old to drive.
I promise, son, i'll do my best,
This time, i'm gonna pass the test."
"Give me the keys, Dad, an' get in."
His father never drove again

That old man quit trying',
He just turned away.
An' there were teardrops on his face.
Tell me, how would you feel?
You'd probably give up too,
If nobody believed in you.

We take His name out of the schools.
The lawyers say it breaks the rules.
Pledge of allegiance can't be read,
An' under God, should not be said.
I wonder how much He will take.
I just pray it's not too late.

What if God quit tryin',
He just turned away?
There were teardrops on his face?
Tell me, how would you feel?
You'd probably give up too,
If nobody believed in you.

Tell me, how would you feel?
You'd probably give up too,
If nobody believed in you.







Heroes by Mans Zelmerlow
Don't tell the gods I left a mess
I can't undo what has been done
Let's run for cover
What if I'm the only hero left
You better fire off your gun
Once and forever
He said go dry your eyes
And live your life like there is no tomorrow, son
And tell the others
To go sing it like a hummingbird
The greatest anthem ever heard

We are the heroes of our time
But we're dancing with the demons in our minds
We are the heroes of our time
Hero-oes, O-oh
But we're dancing with the demons in our minds
Hero-oes O-oh

We are the heroes of our time
Hero-oes, O-oh
But we're dancing with the demons in our minds
Hero-oes O-oh

The crickets sing a song for you
Don't say a word, don't make a sound
It's life's creation
I make worms turn into butterflies
Wake up and turn this world around
In appreciation
He said I never left your side
When you were lost I followed right behind
Was your foundation
Now go sing it like a hummingbird
The greatest anthem ever heard
Now sing together

We are the heroes of our time
Hero-oes O-oh
But we're dancing with the demons in our minds
Hero-oes O-oh
We are the heroes

We keep dancing with the demons
You could be a hero

Now go sing it like a hummingbird
The greatest anthem ever heard
Now sing together

We are the heroes of our time
Hero-oes O-oh
But we're dancing with the demons in our minds
Hero-oes O-oh
We are the heroes of our time (You keep dancing)
Hero-oes O-oh (With the demons, you could be a hero)
But we're dancing with the demons in our minds (You keep dancing)
Hero-oes O-oh (With the demons, you could be a hero)

We are the heroes







Rise by Katy Perry
I won't just survive
Oh, you will see me thrive
Can't write my story
I'm beyond the archetype

I won't just conform
No matter how you shake my core
'Cause my roots—they run deep, oh

Oh, ye of so little faith
Don't doubt it, don't doubt it
Victory is in my veins
I know it, I know it
And I will not negotiate
I'll fight it, I'll fight it
I will transform

When, when the fire's at my feet again
And the vultures all start circling
They're whispering, "You're out of time,"
But still I rise

This is no mistake, no accident
When you think the final nail is in
Think again
Don't be surprised
I will still rise

I must stay conscious
Through the madness and chaos
So I call on my angels
They say

Oh, ye of so little faith
Don't doubt it, don't doubt it
Victory is in your veins
You know it, you know it
And you will not negotiate
Just fight it, just fight it
And be transformed

'Cause when, when the fire's at my feet again
And the vultures all start circling
They're whispering, "You're out of time,"
But still I rise

This is no mistake, no accident
When you think the final nail is in
Think again
Don't be surprised
I will still rise

Don't doubt it, don't doubt it
Oh, oh, oh, oh
You know it, you know it
Still rise
Just fight it, just fight it
Don't be surprised
I will still rise







Breathing by Majozi
Lyrics Unavailable, but clearly heard






Up
By Olly Murs featuring Demi Lovato
I drew a broken heart
Right on your window pane
Waited for your reply
Here in the pouring rain
Just breathe against the glass

Leave me some kind of sign
I know the hurt won't pass, yeah
Just tell me it's not the end of the line
Just tell me it's not the end of the line

I never meant to break your heart
Now I won't let this plane go down
I never meant to make you cry
I'll do what it takes to make this fly, oh
You gotta hold on
Hold on to what you're feeling
That feeling is the best thing
The best thing, alright
I'm gonna place my bet on us
I know this love is heading in the same direction
That's up

You drew a question mark
But you know what I want
I wanna turn the clock, yeah
Right back to where it was
So let's build a bridge, yeah
From your side to mine
I'll be the one to cross over
Just tell me it's not the end of the line
Just tell me it's not the end of the line

I never meant to break your heart
Now I won't let this plane go down
I never meant to make you cry
I'll do what it takes to make this fly, oh
You gotta hold on
Hold on to what you're feeling
That feeling is the best thing
The best thing, alright
I'm gonna place my bet on us
I know this love is heading in the same direction
That's up

Girl, I know we could climb back to where we were then
Feel it here in my heart
Put my heart in your hand
Well, I hope and I pray that you do understand
If you did, all you have to say is
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm waiting for you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I never meant to break your heart
Now I won't let this plane go down (let this plane go down)
I never meant to make you cry
I'll do what it takes to make this fly, oh
You gotta hold on
Hold on to what you're feeling
That feeling is the best thing
The best thing, alright
I'm gonna place my bet on us
I know this love is heading in the same direction
That's up







Secrets by Good Charlotte
In the dark
In the darkness you will find
Dirty little secrets we all hide
Cause' we all have a darker side
A place we keep where no one else will find

Cause' everybody wants to hide their secrets away
Nobody wants to stand up to the pain
But I will stand up to the pain
Wake up and fight again
If you could dance with me through this rain
And we will fight, we’ll fight again, fight again

In the back, in the closets of your mind
Thats where skeletons and dirty secrets hide
And I'll rip out my insides
And leave them on display for you tonight

Cause' everybody wants to hide their secrets away
Nobody wants to stand up to the pain
But I will stand up to the pain
Wake up and fight again
If you could dance with me through this rain
And we will fight, we’ll fight again, fight again
(fight again, fight again)…

All my life I hide my secrets away,
In the dark, in the dark, in the dark
We all try to hide our secrets away,
In the dark, in the dark, in the dark

Stand up to the pain
Wake up and fight again
If you could dance with me through this rain
And we will fight, we’ll fight again, fight again
Fight again
Cause' everybody wants to hide their secrets away
And that’s ok
Nobody wants to stand up to the pain
Fight again







Fear by Pauley Perrette
Are you scared of the dark
Are you afraid they’ll break your heart
Are you afraid you’ll lose yourself
Are you afraid of your own health

Are you scared to lose
Are you afraid to choose
Are you afraid you’ll win
Are you scared of your own sin

Are you scared to forgive
Are you afraid to live
Are you afraid to die
Do you think you told a lie

Chorus:
To live
When you think you’re dying
To laugh
When you feel like crying
To stand
When you think you’re gonna fall
It’s just fear after all
It’s only fear after all

Are you afraid you’ll be alone
Are you scared to pick up the phone
Are you scared of the past
Do you think that you might crash
Do you think you’re in too deep

Are you afraid to sleep
Are you scared there’s no stability
Are you afraid of your own fragility

To live
When you think you’re dying
To laugh
When you feel like crying
To stand
When you think you’re gonna fall
It’s just fear after all
It’s only fear after all

To mend
When you’re think you’re breaking
To strength
When you know you’re shaking
To pray
When your back’s against the wall

It’s only fear after all

Are you scared of the end
Are you scared to begin
Are you scared of the start
Do you think they’ll break your heart
Do you think they’ll break your heart

To live
When you think you’re dying
To laugh
When you feel like crying
To stand
When you think you’re gonna fall
It’s just fear after all
It’s only fear after all

It’s only fear
The only fear is fear itself
The only fear is fear itself
The only fear is fear itself
It’s only fear



Though-Prayer-Wish





Name of Image

:bulletpurple: MagicalJoey
- Health problems (sugar issues, eye issues)
- Financial issues (getting better)

:bulletpurple: qwibes
- Dealing with some setbacks

:bulletpurple: DarlingAngel0565
- Health and sanity issues

:bulletpurple: 8TeamFriends8
- Severe financial issues

Letters To...





Name of Image


From: MagicalJoey

Dear Self-Destructive Ego-State

Though I talk to the “Higher Being” a lot about you I don’t talk to you, and that is purposeful; the less I mention you the more chance I have of forgetting your horrid existence. Even in prayers or desperate cries I only refer to you as ‘it’. “God what is the purpose of having ‘IT’”, “God what should I learn from ‘IT’”. IT. IT. IT, I never mention your name because I am afraid of your power.

I don’t need to mention your name when explaining our relationship to people. In that instance all I need to say is ‘this’ and show my arms where you kissed me sweetly oh so long ago. They look, some not seeing until I reiterate ‘this’ and point to a specific seduction, and nod in recognition of you. But they don’t know me. They don’t know the relationship we had, how I still miss you terribly and how I wish for just one more kiss – even if it is the accidental kiss of death. Don’t get me wrong, I am not asking you to murder me, I just acknowledge that there is a possibility – which is why I had to abandon you three years ago.

I met you during an extra-ordinary internal emotional dance. I was 14 and a wallflower drowned out by emotion erupting internally and scorching my heart and soul. I could not open my mouth to speak my pain and you saw that. You swept in like a dashing prince, cloak billowing behind him. I was blinded by that charm that promised peace, that offered me a voice. I accepted your open hand and we were married forthwith, no ceremony except the line of light cute upon my foot. We were officially together, forever, and I definitely never mentioned your name, even though you were my reality. I never looked beyond your kiss to the possibility of consequences, of addiction, of such utter hopelessness that I would be begging you, my saviour, to be my salvation in death. And I still could not utter your name.

I speak now to Depression, a companion for as long as I can remember. You’ve been with me, enhancing my mood with your tentacles of darkness. Whenever I tried making friends you would encircle me in a fall of feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, pathetic-ness, and, so, with my self-esteem so low it wasn’t even the size of a grain of sand, I would stand there, embarrasses, until I was the one to turn and run in fear with you following behind in utter glee, cackling like the witch of mirth. You encircled me with that wall from my earliest peer experience and eventually I gave up trying to befriend anyone other than you, but you could not be tamed as a friend. You could never be trusted – especially when you put up your own walls against yourself. You became a darkly mysterious companion, aloof yet exceptionally jealous.

You placed your hands over my eyes and I had to look through your splayed fingers at the world. Everything was jaded, tainted, and I did not know because that was what I was used to. I saw the world as a dark, scary, lonely, unhappy place from where you anointed me at birth until I realised that others did not share this view. You have been my longest companion, you you are still unpredictable and easily excited.

I refused to acknowledge your existence until I was about twenty, but by then both you and your dashing brother-in-arms ‘Self Harm’ had me firmly caught. My self-esteem was so low that I needed both of you to survive – rather survive in solitude than die alone.

Do you have any idea what you stole from me? The friends I could have had? The life I could have lived? Brave instead of always scared. Never surrounded by people yet alone, but surrounded by people and having fun. I could have had friends at school – people to talk to instead of the imaginary people from books. I could have been invited to birthdays instead of hearing about them afterwards. I was so good at keeping you a secret to myself I could have kept a friend’s secret easily, but you gave me no chance. You chained me to one spot while the other children danced and moved around me. You rendered me powerless. Unable to join them, unable to look away, always longing and yearning for a friend.

And if you did let me have one, you had made sure that, by causing my emotions to not mature at the same rate as my mind, I would do some emotionally childish thing and they would leave. I went for 19 YEARS without a friend who could stick by my side despite you FFS. I am now 26 – that is more than half my life utterly alone and dependant on you. And now I am so freaking scared of doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing that I sabotage the whole thing. Because of you I am so terrorfied of losing friends that I am perpetually on the outside loking at a group of people wondering ‘what if’. I can at least own up to you by name now. You are Depression. I have you as an illness. Though you still have so much control. At the moment you own me. However, no matter how many layers of Hell I have to go through, I will own you before I die naturally. You’re like a giant squid with inky tentacles everywhere in my life. You’ve had me for 26 years ffs can’t you let me go now? Oh I am working on prying you loose; medication is in my system, I have identified that you like to isolate me, I know how to change one of your thoughts into a positive. I just have to work on identifying those damn thoughts. But you can be controlled and one day I will be the one in control and not you. One. Damn. Day.

I refer back to Self-Harm, Depression’s dashing friend. From the first time I saw you at 14 you became the voice of my emotions. The voice of those things I could never utter – what depression hid behind my smile. The smile started to work via clockwork – I needed you to wind it yo or else it would fail. And so I relied on you more and more. Scars on feet let to scars on shoulders and then arms. Four times you kissed too deeply and I needed stitches. I began to realise the danger of letting you near me. I was sent for help, for your friend Depression, and would not admit that I had a problem. You laughed and kicked back for a long luxurious stay. But I foiled your plans by admitting to Depression and seeking help – from someone who then knew about you. And still I never spoke your name, I just had to show old would, or a new one with the caption, “I did ‘IT’ again”. If I say who you are it makes you real.

I’ve already triggered my brain so there is no reason to stop now. Graphics warning.

I loved the way you accepted me. You were always there – a lover and a friend. I would watch your kisses open my skin and as the thin dots of blood beaded all my pain would leave. I could breathe again. The pressure beating inside was gone. My body had spoken what I could not. And as you kissed over and over again I would finally feel the pain I deserved, the pain I needed, the pain even Depression with its numbing balm refused to let me feel. Your kisses brought a smile to my face. The pain healed my heart. The blood was like dancing with life itself. And then you became dangerous.

A couple of small kisses no longer brought that painful release from pain, and I began wanting you when I was in a decent internal shape. I no longer just wanted the healing pain; I just wanted pain.

That’s when the stitches began, officially, as you had to dive deeper for the same pain as before. After trying to use your dashing face in place of the reaper’s, I put you down. Locked you away and have fought to keep you locked away ever since. I still do not speak your name.

If I speak your name it makes you real. It means that the dashing man turns into a devil. It makes you a hinder, not a help. It makes our relationship a lie. A scam. A con.

You have been my closest and dearest friend since I was 14, and the last three years, as I abandoned you, you have desperately tried to cling on, digging your claws deep into memories of the sweet, affectionate kisses. My mind can’t let go of the darker kisses and so I reject you, painful as it is. Let me now speak truthfully of you – your name as it means to me. I am a cutter. I am a burner. I do not suffer from ‘IT’, I suffer from Self-Harm. I hurt myself on purpose. I cut. I burn.

I’ve said it and made you real. Now piss off and let me live.

Me.

P.S. Stop your tricky little mind games. Every time my self-esteem tales a snail-step of courage forward you, Depression, are there with your mocking laugh and pointing fingers. You give me wishes that are toxic and thoughts that are negative. Then Self-Harm swoops in to save the day with all the answers. Seriously, piss off. Get your own life. Get a room.

Piss off out of my head.


Deviants

Affiliates

:iconourdreamswillcome: OurDreamsWillCome Where everyone is welcome! :iconwe-are-here-to-stay: we-are-here-to-stay take care :icona-safe-haven: A-Safe-Haven :iconliterature-world: Literature-World All Writers Welcome! :iconamateurartistarmy: AmateurArtistArmy Beginner/AmateurArtist :iconmy-soul-bleeds-ink: My-Soul-Bleeds-Ink We write; it's who we are. :iconscarsbybullying: ScarsByBullying Support Starts Here :iconstop-the-suffering: Stop-the-Suffering You're not alone. We care :iconspreading-awareness: Spreading-Awareness Because the world needs to know. :iconactuallypsychotic: ActuallyPsychotic :iconcollaborativeminds: CollaborativeMinds Let's Collaborate and Listen :iconanothercontestgroup: AnotherContestGroup Sharing new contests every day!! :iconi-am-not-good-enough: I-Am-Not-Good-Enough :iconprojectdfc: ProjectDFC The DFC Crew :iconpoetry-on-the-mind: Poetry-on-the-mind :iconroad-to-recovery: Road-to-Recovery Overcome <3 :iconsuicidesupport: Suicidesupport We are here to serve you. :icongetoverdepression: GetOverDepression Get Over Depression G.O.D. :iconharmed-and-healing: Harmed-and-Healing You have our support :iconthelifeofwords: thelifeofwords Welcome,to,this,group,writing,do :iconfree2bu: Free2BU You Beautiful You :iconbleedingartists: BleedingArtists show us your scars :icondepression-abyss: Depression-Abyss into the Abyss. :iconordinary-writing: Ordinary-Writing -The definition of Prose- :iconburdenedhearts: BurdenedHearts Uniting, Supporting, Surviving :iconlight-and-hope: Light-and-Hope There is always hope

About the Admins





Name of Image

:iconmagicaljoey:MagicalJoey
:bulletblue: She suffers from Depression, Anxiety and Bipolar Mood Disorder.
:bulletblue: She was wrongly diagnosed as Schizophrenic and given the wrong medication for over a year.
:bulletblue: She has experience with self-harm
:bulletblue: She has experience with suicidal thoughts, feelings and attempts.
:bulletblue: She has minor experience with Bulimia, Anorexia, and binge eating.
:bulletblue: She has suffered from a miscarriage.
:bulletblue: She has experience with family members with Dementia or Alzheimers.
:bulletblue: She has experience with family members with Social Phobia.
:bulletblue: She has experience with minor panic attacks.
:bulletblue: She has experience with mild OCD.
:bulletblue: She has PCOS (Poly-Cystic-Ovarian-Syndrome)
:bulletblue: She has experience with both Insomnia and Over-sleeping.
:bulletblue: You can note her if you need to talk.

:icondiluculi:Diluculi
:bulletpurple: She has managed to overcome Depression.
:bulletpurple: She befriends people suffering from severe Mental Illnesses as well as Depression.
:bulletpurple: She has personal experience with suicidal thoughts and dealing with suicidal people.
:bulletpurple: You can note her if you need to talk.

:icondarlingangel0565:DarlingAngel0565 (Currently Away)
:bulletpink: She suffers from severe Depression
:bulletpink: She has experience with physical and mental abuse.
:bulletpink: She has experience with self harm
:bulletpink: She has experience with suicidal thoughts, tendencies and attempts.
:bulletpink: She has experience with sexual assault and rape.
:bulletpink: She suffers from night terrors.
:bulletpink: She suffers from Insomnia
:bulletpink: She suffers from Anxiety and Panic attacks
:bulletpink: You can note her if you need to talk.

Claires' Corner #17

Journal Entry: Sun Jun 11, 2017, 3:45 AM


Name of Image
A LITTLE BIT OF LIFE SKILLS

Welcome to Claires’ Corner.
Please come just as you are to our couch, and maybe learn a little.

For the next few weeks we will be looking at:

How to Handle Disappointment
**Notes taken from blog.iqmatrix.com/overcome-dis…


How to Overcome Disappointment and Refocus on Your Goals
From: blog.iqmatrix.com/overcome-dis…

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire and how you handle disappointment along the way. - Robert Kiyosaki

Are You Feeling Disappointed?
Disappointment is an experience of feeling let down and somewhat defeated. You held high expectations that something would work out your way, but unfortunately things didn’t turn out as expected. You are now holding onto an unsatisfactory outcome and finding it difficult to deal with your unfulfilled promises and expectations.

Feeling disappointed in the short-term can actually be quite advantageous. However, wallowing in disappointment can keep you feeling stuck, can lead to doubt, despair, depression, despondency and discouragement in the long-term. As a result you get overrun by negative thoughts and other emotions. It’s very easy to get caught up in this cycle and continuously get down on yourself. However, this is never helpful, and will keep you from seeing disappointment for what it really is: A powerful emotion that will help you clarify your personal expectations and pave the way forward towards the attainment of your goals.

Five Steps For Overcoming Disappointment:
It’s not difficult to turn a little disappointment in your favor to help improve your circumstances. Here is a five step process you can use to do exactly that:

#1 Acknowledge How You Feel About the Situation

Your first step is to acknowledge your personal feelings about the situation and circumstances. If you’re disappointed, then admit it openly and honestly. Hiding your disappointment will just prevent you from moving forward. Ask yourself:

   What really happened here?

   What should have happened?

   Why am I feeling disappointed about this?

Clarifying why exactly you’re feeling disappointed about the situation will help you to get a better understanding of your thoughts and expectations. In fact, your thoughts are the key. How you initially thought about this situation and how you eventually responded to this outcome has essentially triggered your feelings of disappointment. As such, it’s important to gain some clarity about your thought process. Ask yourself:

   What was I thinking at the time when things didn’t pan-out as I had anticipated?

   Was I blaming myself, others or circumstances?

   Was I searching for excuses?

   How have these thoughts hindered me?

If you’re caught up making excuses, complaining and not taking responsibility for the situation, then you’re just ignoring the real problem.

#2 Question Your Expectations

It’s now time to take a closer look at the expectations you had before these events and circumstances took place. Ask yourself:

   What were my expectations about these circumstances?

   What were my expectations about myself?

   What were my expectations of others involved in this?

As you answer these questions you might realize that maybe your expectations weren’t quite flexible or realistic enough. Continue asking yourself:

   Overall, were my expectations about all these things realistic?

   Maybe they were petty or inflexible?

   Maybe my expectations were too narrow-minded?

   Maybe my expectations were downright selfish?

When it comes to disappointment, your expectations coming into the situation will determine how you will feel after the events have taken place. Say for instance you had no expectations at the beginning of all this. As a result, it wouldn’t matter what happened. Because you had no expectations, you have no reason to be disappointed, and consequently you can see the situation for what it is and select the best path moving forward. However, if you’re currently feeling disappointed, then it’s unlikely you took this approach, and therefore you must now ask yourself one final set of questions:

   Do my expectations set me up for disappointment?

   How could I potentially adjust them for next time?

   Just maybe there is a silver lining here…

Your unrealistic expectations are going to prevent you from learning and growing from this experience. You must understand this before moving onto the next step.

#3 Take Time to Learn from this Experience

Take time now to learn from this experience. Ask yourself:

   What can I learn from this experience?

   What can I learn about myself?

   What can I learn about my perspective of the situation?

   What can I learn about how I set expectations?

   What can I learn from all this that will help me approach things differently in the future?

These questions will help you to see through the clouds — opening your eyes to new possibilities and perspectives. Maybe things aren’t how they initially seemed? Just maybe your disappointment is an illusion. Maybe it’s all a figment of your imagination?

When you begin approaching this situation from a space of empowerment rather than a space of disappointment, then you will be in a better position to think more clearly and intelligently about what exactly has transpired. As a result you can move forward through this disappointment with renewed confidence that you can make the most of any situation no matter what happens.

#4 Take Personal Inventory

You should now fully understand the situation and you should also have clarity about your expectations. It’s now time for you to take a personal inventory by asking:

   What skills do I have that can help me make the most of this situation?

   What knowledge do I have that I might be able to use here?

   What tools do I have at my disposal that could be helpful?

   What support can I potentially garner from others?

   What are my strengths, and how can I make the best use of them in this situation?

Answering these questions will help remind you that you are in fact very resourceful. You have everything within yourself to take full advantage of this situation to help turn disappointment into something positive and empowering. However, to move through this process successfully you may need to fine-tune your problem solving skills as-well-as your creative thinking skills. The reason for this is that your disappointment is merely a problem that you must now solve, and you will need to think creatively and maybe even critically to move through these events successfully. Ask yourself:

   What’s the problem that I must solve?

   What are the facts and tangible things that I will need to work through?

   How could I think creatively about this to solve this problem successfully?

Always be mindful of the difference between fact and fiction. Facts are built upon concrete evidence, and fictitious things are based on your opinions, assumptions or perspectives of the situation. These things have no concrete evidence backing them up. As such, don’t use them as a basis for your decision-making moving forward.

In order to solve this problem successfully, you will need to cultivate optimism, patience, gratitude, and enthusiasm. You will need to be adaptable and flexible in your approach, and you will need to persevere up until the moment you successfully attain your desired outcome. On top of all this, find time for laughter. Laugh at your disappointments. See the humorous side of the situation. This will help relax you, and may even stimulate your creativity moving forward.

#5 Modify Your Expectations and Objectives

The final step is to modify your expectations and objectives. Modifying your expectations will help you to see things more clearly and realistically. Modifying your objectives will come as a result of your adjusted expectations. Maybe you were initially reaching too high, too quickly. A modified objective will provide you with a realistic target you can work towards. Then once you hit that target you can raise the bar higher the next time around.

In Closing
What to do in the Moment of Disappointment


It’s difficult to get through life without feeling disappointed at one time or another. You are human, and you will have expectations about how things should be. Expectations are great because they help you to look forward in anticipation. In fact, expectations can keep you focused and motivated. Moreover, expectations are critical when it comes to goal setting.

When you set goals you will have expectations of the types of outcomes you would like to achieve. These outcomes will of course not always come to fruition as expected, and as a result you will need to deal with the initial disappointment. However, there are certain things you can immediately do that will help you work through this disappointment in a more effective way:

#1 Calm Yourself Down

Okay, you’re feeling incredibly disappointed. Things didn’t pan out as you had expected. As a result, it’s easy to allow this disappointment to completely overwhelm your thought process. However, if you allow this to happen, then you can’t work through this problem successfully to overcome this disappointment in the long-run.

Your first step is to calm yourself down. You can do this by focusing on the present moment. You can also step away from the situation to clear your thoughts. Alternatively you can also take a nap to allow time to help separate yourself from what just happened. You can also get a massage, step into a steam room or sauna. All of these things will help you to calm down and clear your mind. Likewise this will allow you to begin thinking about things somewhat differently, which can potentially trigger new insights and perspectives that will help you to modify things moving forward.

#2 Distract Yourself

If calming your mind doesn’t seem to be working, then take some time to temporarily distract yourself from this disappointment by listening to music, but watching a movie, or through reading a book. These distractions will help you to settle down. Then when you’re ready, you can get back to the situation at hand with more energy and a fresh perspective. There is never any point in dealing with something if your mind loses itself by overly obsessing about the disappointment. That by itself is a clear indication that a temporary distraction is required.

#3 Transform Your Physiology

The moment disappointment hits you, your physiology will likely change. Think for a moment about a time you were really excited about something. How did you move your body during those moments? How were you standing? Now think about a time when you were incredibly disappointed about something. I bet your body was moving somewhat differently. The difference here is very important because you will never get into a resourceful state that will help you solve potential problems if your physiology remains in a state of disappointment. You must instead immediately adjust your physiology in empowering ways that will help serve you moving forward.

To make the necessary adjustments, think about how you would use your body when excited and/or confident. Now take the time to make the necessary adjustments in your physiology to get into this excited/confident state. Within this state you will begin to think and act differently — helping you to make better decisions moving forward.

#4 Disappointment is Clouded in Fog

Keep in mind that the feeling of disappointment might not be what you think it is. Disappointment can often result from a misunderstanding, from confusion, and is often based on your personal expectations and interpretations of the situation. Maybe you really have nothing to be disappointed about. All you need to do is shift your perspective of the situation and all of a sudden what seemed unfortunate, may in fact turn into your greatest opportunity.

#5 Transform Your Perspective

How you perceive things must encourage you to move forward with confidence. It must help you to incorporate a solution-focused mindset that will promote “out of the box” thinking.

What if instead of feeling disappointed you shifted your perspective in the following three ways:

   There’s always a silver lining… What about this situation gets me excited?

   Everything happens for a reason… Why is it important that I experience this disappointment?

   This could have been much worse… What specifically about this am I grateful for?

These three shifts in perspective provide you with a new path moving forward that will help you to think more clearly and intelligently about the situation. They will also prevent you from being bogged down by disappointment.

Always Remember: Disappointment is Only Temporary

It’s absolutely critical that in the moment of disappointment you understand that disappointment is only temporary. You did something, it didn’t work out, and now you must learn from this experience and adjust your course of action moving forward. Yes, you might very well have had many disappointments along your journey. However, all of them provide you with valuable lessons you can use to help improve your chances of success the next time around.

#6 Don’t Admit Your Disappointment

Don’t ever admit that you’re disappointed…

This seems to contradict the fact that it’s important to admit how you feel about the situation in order to move through the process of overcoming disappointment. This is of course true, however admitting the reality of your situation can at times be unhelpful if you do nothing about it. Focusing on what you’ve lost and what you’ve failed to do or achieve, will only deflate your confidence, and will prevent you from moving forward.

Therefore if you find that you are one of those people who easily become overwhelmed by disappointment, then avoid admitting the fact that you’re disappointed at all costs, and instead shift your perspective about the situation to help move yourself forward in more productive ways.

#7 & #8 Don’t Demand Perfection from Yourself & Don’t Attempt to Control the Outcome

The reality is that no matter how hard you try, you will never be perfect. You’re human and perfection is not a part of your nature. Accept the fact that perfection is not attainable and focus instead on making progressive improvement over time. However, even with improvement, you will often take two steps forward and one step back. And that’s perfectly okay. You need to take that one step back to gain a clearer perspective and understanding of the situation moving forward. You need to learn from that experience. Therefore, don’t resist. Just go with the flow and strive for improvement over perfection.

When it comes to sudden disappointment, sometimes the more you try and control the outcome or the circumstances within that moment, the more frustration and disappointment you will feel. There is no point trying to control things that are out of your control. It’s like trying to catch the wind with your bare hands. It’s simply impossible. Instead, give up the desire to control external events, and instead utilize the other strategies discussed within this section to help you work through your moment of disappointment successfully.

What to do After a Disappointment
What you do moments after a disappointment are absolutely critical. How you respond to disappointment will not only affect your current situation, but will also foretell how you are likely to approach future disappointments as you continue to work towards your desired outcomes.

Here are some suggestions to help you handle disappointment effectively and intelligently:

#1 Focus on the War, Not the Battles

Don’t get lost in being short-sighted. Thinking short-term and only seeing the disappointment in the moment will prevent you from seeing the bigger picture and the possibilities that may exist moving forward.

Your disappointment is only one battle that has temporarily sidetracked you. However, you’re still fighting the war, and there are many battles still yet to come. You will win some of these battles, and you will lose many others. No matter what happens, the battles are only part of the bigger picture. Winning the war is what counts in the end. Focus on winning the war, not the individual battles.

#2 Look for Potential Opportunities

The moment disappointment strikes, is the moment you must become very aware and receptive to the world around you, because at that very moment you might find that the world is suddenly different. What you thought was reality, might not be reality any more. What you thought was a sure thing, might not be so sure any more. However, this isn’t a bad thing, because the moment one door closes a window opens. However, if you’re just staring at that closed door, you won’t see the open window (your opportunity).

Sometimes the open window will be out of sight, however it won’t be out of mind. You need to look for the signs and for the evidence that an opportunity exists. Get a feel for where the breeze is coming from. This will help you adjust your course of action accordingly. As long as you stay positive and receptive, then you will eventually find a way out of your disappointing situation.

#3 Ask Questions to Gain Clarity

After a disappointment, take some time to ask yourself some thought-provoking questions that will help you to get a better understanding of the situation:

   Was I clear about what I wanted?

   Why was I attached to this outcome?

   What did I think was going to happen?

   Was I realistic about my expectations?

   How will I benefit from letting this go?

   Will this disappointment really matter in six months time?

   Could I have done something differently?

   What resources could assist me to move through this successfully?

   How can I best utilize these resources?

These questions will help to lay down a path that will assist you to move forward with greater clarity and confidence. They will also hopefully help you to stay focused on the right things and allow you to build the groundwork for success in the not too distant future.

#4 Account for Murphy’s Law

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible time, all at once, when you least expect it. That is in essence what Murphy’s Law is about.

One way to minimize future disappointments is to account for Murphy’s Law. This requires you to think about all the things that could potentially go wrong moving forward, and come up with appropriate contingency plans that will help you to reduce the risk of disappointment, mistakes and potential failure. This of course isn’t a full-proof strategy, however it can certainly help you to make better decisions when you’re confronted with seemingly unexpected setbacks.

In the end, it’s not what happens to you that matters, but rather how you respond to the disappointments that life throws your way today, that will make all the difference tomorrow.




:bulletyellow: Hopefully, some of this was helpful.




:bulletorange: Please feel free to leave comments, questions, queries.
:bulletred: Any suggestions for future topics are to be noted to the group.

Three New Songs

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 10, 2017, 11:03 AM


Name of Image

:tighthug: Our "Creed" :tighthug:

Hello, you've reached a quiet place, a place where you can bare your heart or simply share your soul. We are all like you - problems and pain haunt and hurt us as they do you. We don't all have the same things that consume us, but still we understand your ghosts and the trouble you face daily hurt you deeply, as ours do to us. We know pain. We try help you face it. If you remember one thing about this place, remember this: No matter what you are living or have lived through, you are accepted.
YOU. ARE. ACCEPTED



:star::bulletblue::star: We need to save to upgrade to a super group again, as I have just upgraded us. Check the bottom of this journal for donation information. Please consider donating if you can - we can do so much more as a super group. :star::bulletblue::star:

Due to the front page being laggy I have moved some of the custom boxes containing the songs. The 'songs from members' and 'songs highlighting a cause' are on the 'About Us' page and the 'songs from admins' are on the 'Favourites' page. The 'songs lost but found' Volume One are on the 'Gallery' page due to us reaching our custom widget size limit.

:star::bulletred::star: Claires' Corner :star::bulletred::star:

Claires' Corner is a life skills based initiative. It is there to teach you things, remind you of things, help you with things.  

If you have any suggestions for life skills that can be addressed in Claires' Corner please note the group.


The previous Claires' Corner articles can be found on the 'About Us' page.

:star::bulletred::star: You-R Heard :star::bulletred::star:

"You-R Heard" is the latest journal series started by this group. It aims to be a randomly updated journal highlighting a deviant's struggle with a particular disorder, in a way that informs the rest of us what that disorder is, how it is usually 'handled', what the deviant is going through, how they are handling it and what has/can/will be done. So far we have only had Farand 's, PoetryOD 's and kiwi-damnation 's stories and I am working on mine. If you have struggled with a particular 'disorder' or illness that you would like to educate people on - maybe so they can help you, maybe so they themselves won't be afraid to go for help - please note the group with the topic/disorder you would like to write about. I will have a series of questions for you to answer, in an interview-like manner, if you are unable or unsure of writing something yourself. If you have something yourself, you don't have to stick to the questions I have. It's free and open to members and non members to share, so if you know of someone who might want to share their story consider telling them.

:star::bulletred::star: Letters To... :star::bulletred::star:

Letters To... is a box on the front page. The exact nature of the box is to place letters to our emotions, our negative thoughts, things that get us down. The example that will be in there shortly is a letter I wrote to my destructive ego-state, the part of my brain that contains my negative thought cycle. I know that our admin Diluculi wrote a letter to wrath. If you have a letter you wish placed there, please note the group. It can be anonymous or not, the choice is yours.

Please consider using this box to post letters to your emotions (or lack thereof), your idealistic side, your negative side. It works, the writing, it's cathartic...but the sharing works too - shows people they are not alone.



:star::star: Support Systems :star::star:
Please do use us - sometimes just having the knowledge that someone is thinking of you can help greatly.

:bulletred::star::bulletred: 1) A Thought-Hand-Prayer list where you can be listed if you need help in any way or just a thought. You can disclose why your name is on there or not. Please note either myself [MagicalJoey] or the group and let us know that you would like your name on the list, and if you want to why as well. Also send a note if you are doing better so we can update the list in an even more positive and supportive way.

:bulletred::star::bulletred: 2) An "Agony Aunt" where you can send a question/complaint/issue (group/personal related only) and one or more of the admins will answer as best they can. The admins will all be Aunt Dev so you cannot tell who has answered. You can choose to remain anon or share your dev name. If you have anything for this please note UnderstoodAdmin (our admin account which will be responsible for this particular part of the group) or fill in this form: Agony Aunt Form

So far we have had nobody using this particular support system. Please consider using us if you have any questions about any disorders, about emotional issues/emotions...about anything really. We would love to help you!



:music::music: Song Suggestions :music::music:

I do hope that these songs are helping in some way.
WIN; WIN; WIN
I challenge you, the members, to note the group with song suggestions that uplift, inspire, console, comfort, or that highlight a particular issue.
You could win
:bulletblue: A custom poem written on a topic of your choice.
:bulletblue: A feature.
:bulletpurple: Both.
So...Suggest. Suggest. Suggest.

:music::star::music: Lyrics Quotes :music::star::music:


It's like walking around with a stone for a heart
People swimming in honey as your life falls apart
It's cold and it's dark
And there's no way out
I felt like you once
I wish I could shout


Down by Doddie Clark






Dying for You by Otto Knows ft Lindsey Stirling and Alex Aris
Somebody told me you had given up on your smile
That must mean you've been pretending now for a while
To me you don't have to keep hiding away who you are
Remember how we said together we would go far
Summer nights, side by side
Oh I know you remember how we laughed until we cried

[x2]
So when you're down and out from your troubled life
I will be dying for you, dying for you
When all you have is doubt, know that I'm around
I will be dying for you, dying for you

You kept on changing your colors to be someone else
But you know some paintings should never, ever be changed

Summer nights, side by side
Oh I know you remember how we laughed until we cried

[x2]
So when you're down and out from your troubled life
I will be dying for you, dying for you
When all you have is doubt, know that I'm around
I will be dying for you, dying for you

I will be dying for you, dying for you, dying for you
I will be dying for you, dying for you
I will be dying for you.





Member suggestion by betwixtthepages



Imagine Cover by Pentatonix
(Original by John Lennon)
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today... Aha-ah...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace... You...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world... You...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one





Highlights a Cause: Depression
(Member suggestion by qwibes )



Down by Dodi Clark
I woke up as heavy as lead
An ocean of worry weighs me down in bed

But there's things to
There's a life to live
Must ignore my stupid head

Friends float above in the wind
Bright balloons pulling them up as they grin

But there's things to do
There's a life to live
Must ignore the things I think

oooOOOoooOOoh

It's like walking around with a stone for a heart
People swimming in honey as your life falls apart
It's cold and it's dark
And there's no way out
I felt like you once
I wish I could shout X2

You can never undo the brain
Now it knows of the holes it will fall as it's trained

Cause there's things to do
There's a life to live
Watch them laugh/love (can't decide I sang laugh but I like love idk)
While you stay in the rain





Feel free to invite any friends you have who may need this group, or suggest works by people from other groups you are in who may then join us.

The more stories that are shared the more we can come to realise that maybe 'I' went through 'this' to help 'them' along their journey, and so on and so forth. Let's help each other. We are, after all, a community and a family; one of the good type.

This group is for people suffering in all ways anything where someone might need a poetic vent or a willing ear to listen. So spread the word about the group. Help us help others.




A quote from an email a friend sent me. If it could help someone you know please share.
"The simplest way I can describe it is... I obliterated my body with Anorexia and by pushing myself into the world to be normal, it never was able to recover. I would regularly crash and spend weeks in bed recovering, only to get back out as soon as i could and repeat the process  My whole body has basically crashed and the systems don't work, but are unable to repair themselves properly anymore. In addition, I'm constantly in the stress response, which stops the creation of normal ATP (energy chemical). No one really knows why and what and how about M.E."
M.E. is another name for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome




In this group we aim to support you through what you are going through, mainly through the writing of poetry.
Many people write poems because of how they are feeling or because they suffer from a particular disorder and cannot speak about it - so they write to vent their feelings. Here is where you can submit pieces that do that.

Any judgement by any other member or by any admin will result in a warning and then a ban for that particular person, as we are here to support each other.

If you need help, ask for it. Many of us have been through the same things you are going through and can help, even if it's just a virtual hug or some encouraging words.

The admins are here to help you. On our front page you will find a list of the admins and some of the things they have been through/experienced in their life. If you have a specific problem you are more than welcome to note that admin for help.

Enjoy your time with us.

Jo

P.S If you have work that you don't think fits into any folder we currently have, note us with a query and a link to the deviation and we may be able to make a new folder.

:star::star: In Need Of Points :star::star:

I currently have 100 points in this group's fund after upgrading.  
I am begging you to donate, get your friends to donate, get your mother's best friends intelligent cat to donate more with cat-like-typing.
Or, considering sponsoring the group by donating all 5000 points. You will get a mention in every journal along the lines of: This journal made possible by <deviant>
All points can be donated directly to UnderstoodAdmin , please with a note saying they are for super group status, otherwise I just get blindsided and don't know where anything goes in my filing system.
:star: What does supergroup status allow us to do?
- Have more widgets so that we can keep up the songs in their boxes and Claires' Corner in its box. It allows me to fit more into each custom box. It gives the option of a poll to vote. It allows me to make journals sticky, so that the three most important ones are always visible on the page. It allows for our custom journal skin. Basically, without it, the group will lose its unique look and its unique way of helping people through music and life skills.

Believe me, any amount - even just one point - can make the difference.

You-R Heard - Volume #3

Journal Entry: Thu Mar 2, 2017, 10:10 AM


Name of Image

:tighthug: Our "Creed" :tighthug:

Hello, you've reached a quiet place, a place where you can bare your heart or simply share your soul. We are all like you - problems and pain haunt and hurt us as they do you. We don't all have the same things that consume us, but still we understand your ghosts and the trouble you face daily hurt you deeply, as ours do to us. We know pain. We try help you face it. If you remember one thing about this place, remember this: No matter what you are living or have lived through, you are accepted.
YOU. ARE. ACCEPTED


I have long since wanted a platform for you to tell your stories - what illnesses do you face daily? How do you cope? How do you feel? Do you feel? (I often don't). This is a platform for such stories. If you wish to share your journey with any mental, or even physical illness, note the group and give us a brief summary of what you have to share. We will get back to you, probably make a roster of sorts. But without further ado, here's the second in a (randomly updated) series for 'You-R Heard'.

The first two interviews/stories can be found on our favourites page underneath the songs from admins



From kiwi-damnation

I have long since wanted to get an interview/story from my Kowalie. She is a constant source of inspiration, as she battles with so many things yet still finds time and energy to do things on here such as the famous December Forms Challenge (via ProjectDFC ) and numerous other poetry and prose prompts/contests (ProjectDFC for poetry and Prose-ject for prose). This has been in the pipeline for months, and she finally got around to tweaking it and submitting it here, all while battling with seizures and other nasty things that leave her exhausted and utterly drained. I salute your bravery Kowalie, and do hope all the best for you in the future.

Kowalie is a master of rhyming and traditional form poetry, and writes such exquisite pieces as the following:

DonationThe droplets fell upon her form
A raging, thrashing, clashing swarm
A tempest that has smashed and torn
Through every scrap that kept her warm
Yet in her arms, a tiny life
That she had carried far from strife
She trembled as she held the knife
Slicing cord, the night was rife
With shadows that would claim her soul
And if they won that lofty goal
No one would find this sunken shoal
Nor hear the haunting bells that toll.
The wind ripped caverns in her mind
No solace from its wailing, find
The little baby shook in kind
As in her blood, his fate was signed
She paused to knock on oaken door
And as the footsteps crossed the floor
She stepped away and watched them pour
Their hopes upon her small amour.
The droplets gathered in her hair,
As she with nothing but despair
Left this world of fan and fair,
For peace from every worry, care,
Her son would have a better time
Not fret about the pennies, dimes,
Nor covered in a pauper’s grime,
He would be safe from her.
    Fortuitous?Fortuitous, they often said
That she had found his arm
For he had been alone for years
Then she of graceless charm,
Swept through his life and changed it all
And they all watched him stop, and fall
For one who stood no greater threat
Than make a man live all regrets.
What luck, that she would make him smile
While taking more than he could see
As she would conjure and beguile
So he could not see properly
And over time that curse took hold
Left him bitter, angry – cold
Cause when the heart is sucked away
The colours fade to dirty greys.
    Aurora BorealisI always wanted to watch the Lights. Greens and golds, blues and purples storming, shimmering – dancing across the night like nymphs chasing butterflies. A decadent canvas of light and wonder peering down at me as I gaze into infinity, the eternal beauty of a universe billions of years old and greater than my poor mind could ever contemplate. As they sashay their way across the midnight sky, colours bouncing off the snow like tiny mirrors throwing rainbows across the room; all I can think about is how simple everything is. If you stand still for a moment, you can observe as the entire world moves around you: a chorus of raucous chaos and cacophony that breathes life into every dark space. You can see that as life is made more and more intricate, it is not in fact complex. We just make it that way. We hide ourselves in our fortresses of solitude, behind masks and medications and vices, and we pretend to be whatever we think we are meant to be. And the people who decide what others     The WretchWhat hope could life provide the wretch,
Whose breath upon the world – too much!
The figure that contorted - stretched
To fill a mould none ever clutched
What joy could meet this humbled one?
Whose desperate fingers reach for sun
What joy could meet?
What joy could meet?
And silence pain upon his tongue.


I am generally left astounded by her ability to rhyme, even in the direst of circumstances she manages to write exquisite things.

Without further ado, here is her story: (Which can also be found at this link: Post-Traumatic Stress DisorderPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some of you may know of it in regards to soldiers returning from war. Flashbacks, overwhelming emotions – the whole lot, but this is just scratching the surface of this condition. I know, because I live with C-PTSD, a different but common form of PTSD.
 
PTSD is like living in an alternate dimension. You can see the world you lived in before, but it all looks different. Things that were innocuous before seem dangerous, and people, places and things that you once loved can often trigger you, causing you to live in seclusion as much as you can. You live in a state of hypervigilance, a hyper arousal state not dissimilar from when you have way too much coffee or guarana. Your whole body is alert, every fibre of your being is poised to fight or run from any threat that comes your way. Sudden noises, unexpected visitors, certain smells or images – these can all trigger the PTSD sufferer into a state of frightful delusion and leave them exhaust
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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some of you may know of it in regards to soldiers returning from war. Flashbacks, overwhelming emotions – the whole lot, but this is just scratching the surface of this condition. I know, because I live with C-PTSD, a different but common form of PTSD.

PTSD is like living in an alternate dimension. You can see the world you lived in before, but it all looks different. Things that were innocuous before seem dangerous, and people, places and things that you once loved can often trigger you, causing you to live in seclusion as much as you can. You live in a state of hypervigilance, a hyper arousal state not dissimilar from when you have way too much coffee or guarana. Your whole body is alert, every fibre of your being is poised to fight or run from any threat that comes your way. Sudden noises, unexpected visitors, certain smells or images – these can all trigger the PTSD sufferer into a state of frightful delusion and leave them exhausted and terrified for hours, days and even weeks afterwards. Imagine for a moment that you are wearing a Virtual Reality Helmet and that everything you see and hear is distorted by the helmet. You can’t help but feel frightened, upset or overwhelmed when everyday things are terrifying. That’s what life is like for a PTSD sufferer.

With Complex or C-PTSD, it is slightly different again. Regular PTSD occurs from a single event, or a few events over a short period. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition that occurs when multiple sustained traumas occur over weeks, months or years. This can be created by an abusive friendship or relationship, from a bad workplace, schoolyard bullying and most commonly, it is caused by childhood abuse. Repeated traumatic events not only scar the psyche, but in cases of childhood abuse, they distort the way the mind develops, creating distorted perceptions and a high likelihood of C-PTSD in later life. If you learn to fear constantly, then your body becomes accustomed to fear and anxiety. When you step away from the environment that caused the fear, the habit of fear will remain. Then when stress becomes too much, the mind can overload as its tolerance for stress and fear is lowered by that constant state of anxiety. Eventually, in most cases, the mind will endeavour to purge itself of the traumatic memories by distancing itself from them (dissociation), erasing them, or making the victim face them head-on (intrusive thoughts and flashbacks).

Throughout my journey with C-PTSD, I have likened my trauma to a warehouse full of boxes. Each box contains files with pictures and DVDs and written testimony of thoughts and feelings. Each box is a jumbled mess of many different events and recollections, and so it’s up to me to sort through each box and to file them away in giant filing cabinets. To be clear, this doesn’t mean that I just dig for memories or force myself to confront things I am not ready for. Often, a box is opened for me, and I must then deal with its contents. This process also does not remove or erase trauma and traumatic memories. It simply files them in an orderly fashion so that if I must revisit them, they can be found without upending a box full of pain and misery.

This process is similar to what physically happens in the brain. When the brain receives sensory input (visual, auditory etc), it comes into the hippocampus (the emotional centre) as raw data. In that state, it is almost indecipherable and therefore must be processed and sent elsewhere to be stored as complete memories. The processing is key to healing, as it allows for the complete memory to be placed and filed, instead of remaining as raw sensory data. When a traumatised person is re-traumatised, this process can halt, or the data can be kept in a raw state and not filed or processed because that person’s mind isn’t ready for it to be normalised. This is where PTSD becomes a problem, because while that experience is raw sensory data, it is close to the surface and becomes an obstacle of emotional turmoil that seems to have no reason behind it. That is because the data hasn’t been processed and given a complete picture, so that person is reacting to the sensory stimuli not unlike a body reacting to an allergen. Though the allergen itself is harmless, the reaction is not, and this creates problems.

These problems include:

- Flashbacks (flashes of visual memory of an event)
- Nightmares
- Insomnia (not wanting to sleep + anxiety)
- Panic attacks
- Emotional outbursts (tears, rage, violence)
- Hallucinations (everyday events are distorted by the sensory data)
- Emotional numbness (exhausted from too much emotion)
- Depression (from too much sensory overload)
- OCD & Phobias (from too much fear sensory data)
- Nausea (from too much emotional turmoil)
- Fatigue (Do I really need to go there?)

As well as:

- Auto-immune disorders
- Digestive disorders
- Endocrine disorders
- Neurological disorders

Why? Because when the body is living in a state of constant reaction, it will divert its energy away from areas of less need (digestive, endocrine) and it will redirect them to the areas that demand it. This means that the mind gets consistently overloaded, resulting in neurological issues and the digestive and endocrine systems become unbalanced. If the body is feeling attacked, it is naturally going to ramp up the immune response which then creates the beginning of auto-immune disorders. The mind and body are not separate, and they affect each other more than many physicians will care to discuss.

Now in cases of complex trauma, there can be years of sensory data are sitting in the mind waiting to be processed. This can create reactions of epic proportions, and often it is only after a nervous breakdown or physical illness that this all comes to light. Therefore, it takes a lot of time as well as  careful consideration and self-awareness that this processing can be done, gently, over time, alleviating their issues and freeing them from the turmoil that their body has become accustomed to.

That’s not to say that any of this is easy. It takes immense patience, diligence and work to live with a condition like this, and to chip away at the trauma that is causing its intense presence in your life. It is a daily struggle and there are many times when the whole situation seems insurmountable; that our strength and resources are just not enough. Chronic fatigue as well as physical illnesses that plague us, tend to erode conviction and stamina. Some days it can feel like there is no point to anything, and that we will never be free. On these days, PTSD sufferers and survivors must hold onto the idea that there is an end point, that there will be freedom eventually. It is this idea that keeps many with us, even when some succumb to the desolation and seek peace in death. It is an unfortunate reality that being in a sustained state of pain, anxiety and isolation, can lead a person to seek solace in oblivion. Over time, the condition can lessen and be less of a menacing cloud over a person’s life, but until that time, there is a dangerous likelihood of self-harm, drug abuse and suicide.
                                                                                                                             
So if you, or someone you know has this condition, take heart. It is an abyss but it isn’t bottomless. There are people who can help you climb out of this pit, there are many who are climbing along with you, and there is no shortage of amazing people who are standing at the top, waiting to congratulate you for your endurance. You can beat this, you can be free, and it will come much sooner than you’d think.

Please don’t give up.

I promise that I won’t.




If you would like to answer some questions about your own problems or tell us your story, even if you have the same ones as have been mentioned by someone else, please note the group. If you know of someone who you think might like to share, ask them to note the group. If you think this can help someone, pass it on.

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:iconmeflysbyseatofpants:
MeFlysBySeatOfPants Featured By Owner May 3, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for choosing me as your featured artist this week.  I'm very grateful for the honor.  There are so many terrific artists on this site, and in this group, that I was surprised when I read the notification.  A special thanks to all those involved in making such a beautiful feature.

I could sing, or I could dance; but I'd rather fly by the seat of my pants!!

~~Bill Glass-hearts Galaxy Heart Heart Shine 
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner May 4, 2017   Writer
:heart:
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:iconx-x-hamilton-x-x:
I could use this type of group 24/7 to be quite honest.
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner May 3, 2017   Writer
You're welcome to join us, note us or do both. Some of the admins are temporarily unavailable, but you will always get at least one reply to your note, if you note the group that is.
:hug:
Also welcome to browse our folders if you're looking for literature, or art, on any one of our themes.
:tighthug:
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:iconx-x-hamilton-x-x:
x-x-Hamilton-x-x Featured By Owner May 3, 2017
Alright, I definitely will. This group has a great concept, it truly does. It amazes me to see how many people believe they are alone with, for example, C-PTSD (one thing that I suffer most from) when they really aren't. I'm sure this group will help others, and who knows, maybe it'll help me as well.
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner May 3, 2017   Writer
It could. If you're looking for stuff on C-PTSD I believe the latest 'You-R-Heard' from kiwi-damnation spoke about that. She's not an admin, but if she's amenable maybe you could get in contact with her and share support systems and strategies?
Good luck, and hang in there.
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:iconswiftmyth:
SwiftMyth Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2017   Digital Artist
So what is this group for?
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2017   Writer
Basically support for people going through stuff and a place for people to write/art about what they are going through to express things in a safe way and in a safe environment.
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:iconjorgipie:
Jorgipie Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
I want to say thank you so very much for featuring me on your page. It really made my day :iconloveloveplz: Is there a way to recommend someone for this? I'd like to pass on the love if possible :heart:
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2017   Writer
We only feature members, but if you want to recommend a member for our next feature or for a future feature just pop us a note and we'll take it from there :)
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